Triumph 675 Forums banner
161 - 180 of 198 Posts

· Registered
Joined
·
6,168 Posts
I may repeat some of the ones I've posted up before because I'm too lazy to check...


I called the rape advice hotline the other day.
Nobody told me it was only for victims.


I locked my keys in my car the other day, right in front of an abortion clinic.
Turns out they don't like it very much when you ask them for a coat hanger.
 

· Registered
Joined
·
701 Posts
I may repeat some of the ones I've posted up before because I'm too lazy to check...

I called the rape advice hotline the other day.
Nobody told me it was only for victims.

I locked my keys in my car the other day, right in front of an abortion clinic.
Turns out they don't like it very much when you ask them for a coat hanger.
you never disappoint sir:bowdown:
 

· Registered
Joined
·
12,178 Posts
I may repeat some of the ones I've posted up before because I'm too lazy to check...

I called the rape advice hotline the other day.
Nobody told me it was only for victims.

I locked my keys in my car the other day, right in front of an abortion clinic.
Turns out they don't like it very much when you ask them for a coat hanger.
:rofl:
:bowdown:
 

· Registered
Joined
·
6,168 Posts
A hot blond girl walks into a bar and a guy says to her "Well you're definitely getting laid tonight..."

The girl replies flirtatiously, "Oh you devil... why do you say that?"

The guy replies, "Because I'm bigger than you."
 

· Registered
2008 Triumph Daytona 675
Joined
·
931 Posts
Two tramps were walking along the railroad tracks one day and one tramp said to the other, "I'm the luckiest guy in the world".
"Why is that?" said the other tramp.
"Well, I was walking down these tracks last week and I found a $50. I went into town and bought a case of wine and was drunk for three days."
The other tramp said, "That was pretty good, but I think I'm the luckiest guy in the world. I was walking down these very tracks about two weeks ago, and just up ahead was a gorgeous naked woman tied to the tracks. I untied her and took her up there in the trees and I had sex with her for two days."
"Jesus", said the first tramp. "You are the luckiest guy; did you get a blow job, too?"
"Well", the other tramp said, "No, I never found her head."
 

· Registered
Joined
·
759 Posts
-What's the best thing about being gay? Having someone intelligent to talk to after sex (lol sorry ladies)

-How did the ******* find his sister in the woods? Purrrrddyy gooood!!!!!

-One evening a wife is giving her husband head. He's about ready to bust a nut and asks her, "Honey, tonight, how about you let me cum in your ear?"
"FUCK NO!" She yells, "What makes you think I would let you do that? I could go deaf!" To which the husband replies, "Well that's funny! I cum in your mouth all the time, and you never shut the fuck up!"

Sorry if any of those were reposts. Couldn't read through them all before hand
 

· Registered
Joined
·
701 Posts
A blond comes home to her front door open and the house is ransacked, she calls the police and explains the robbery. A few minutes later Dub and his K9 show up. The blond sees this and immediately burst into tears, Dub asks the woman "whats the matter?" and she responds "I come home to the worst day of my life and they send me a blind cop!":rofl:
 

· (RIP) Wiser than you I was
Joined
·
5,819 Posts
A blond comes home to her front door open and the house is ransacked, she calls the police and explains the robbery. A few minutes later Dub and his K9 show up. The blond sees this and immediately burst into tears, Dub asks the woman "whats the matter?" and she responds "I come home to the worst day of my life and they send me a blind cop!":rofl:
Now that's funny. :laugh:
 

· Registered
Joined
·
12,178 Posts
A blond comes home to her front door open and the house is ransacked, she calls the police and explains the robbery. A few minutes later Dub and his K9 show up. The blond sees this and immediately burst into tears, Dub asks the woman "whats the matter?" and she responds "I come home to the worst day of my life and they send me a blind cop!":rofl:
:laugh: I had to read that one a few times to get it. :whistle:
 

· Registered
Joined
·
3,726 Posts
You asked for it:

How many men does it take to change the kitchen lightbulb?

None. Let that bitch cook in the dark.

What's the difference between broccoli and anal sex?

You can't force broccoli on a kid.

What do broccoli and anal sex have in common?

If you don't like it as a child, chances are you won't like it as an adult.

Next...
The classics never die. :whistle:
 

· Registered
Joined
·
701 Posts
An accountant goes to prison for embezzlement. Upon entering his cell he meets his new cellmate, a very large black man named Bubba. Bubba says "well since we're gonna be sharing a cell, would you rather be the husband or the wife?". The scarred accountant mumbles "well... I..I guess if I have my choice I'd rather be the husband...". Bubba says " fair enough... now get over here and suck your wife's dick!"
 
161 - 180 of 198 Posts
Top