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My girlfriend told me to give her 10 inches and make her scream.
So I put in in twice and ripped up her credit cards.
mine told me to give her 6, so I fucked her twice and punched her in the mouth.
My version is:

"to be inserted casually in a conversation"

So this chick walks up to me last night ans says, "I want you to give me 10 inches and make it hurt."
So I fucked her twice and punched her in the face.
 

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What's the difference between Sarah Palin's mouth and vagina?


Only one retarded thing has come out of her vagina.
 

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whats the difference between jam and marmalade?

you can't marmalade your cock up a birds arse
My version:

What's the difference between jam and jelly?

I can't jelly my cock down your throat!
 

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Not sure if this was posted already...


What's the difference between like and love?


Spit and swallow.
 

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if size doesn't matter then why don't you see 3" dildo's at the porn shop?

what did 50cent say to his grandma after she knitted him a sweater?
G.. U knitt?

if hitler played call of duty his kill ratio would be 60000000/1

wanna know how special i am? the doctors gave me a jacket so i could hug myself:rofl2:

what do you call a queer in a sleeping bag? Fruit Roll-up

Procrastinators Unite!... Tomorrow...

procrastination is like masturbation... your only fucking yourself.
 

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I''m a huge procrastinator...

I never finish anyth
 

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I''m a huge procrastinator...

I never finish anyth
that shit had me laughin at 5 in the morning before work dude.

whats the difference between a jew and a boy scout? boy scouts return from camp
 

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that shit had me laughin at 5 in the morning before work dude.

whats the difference between a jew and a boy scout? boy scouts return from camp
I had the same reaction the first time I read it...

Stole it from some dude's sig line on Advrider.com
 

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So a guy walks into a bar and bets the bartender he could sleep with any girl in the bar.
The bartender slaps down a $100 bill and after the guy takes the money, asks what his secret is.
The guy looks around real quick, leans in, and whispers "I'm a rapist"
 
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