I figured I'd post about this now that I am repaired. I could have summed this up in probably 2 sentences but I am feeling creative and not feeling like working on this holiday.
On June 20th 2009 I was recruited to be apart of a Fundraiser and play Kickball on a team called World Domination. We were a collective group of athletes considered to be the best of the best for a game meant for children
. We did end up winning the tournament though I only completed 1 whole game...read on to find out why at 28 years old I got hurt playing kickball.
First game in the tournament my team kicks ass, dominates if you will.
All is well and we all come out injury free.
At this point I should mention 2 things. One its absolutely pouring, literally buckets were falling from the sky and smashing unsuspecting adult children in the face. The field was just pure mud, you couldn't move in it. So we decided to play in the outfield grass. Second the only thing flowing more free then the rain from the sky was the beer from the kegs.
By the time the 2nd game started there were puddles the size of ponds forming. And by the end of the 2nd game home plate was a miniature lake. In this lake were girls wrestling each other for fun and having clothing either see through, missing or riding up to areas that covered nothing. It was at this moment while I was on third base I was going to REALLY make an entrance coming home...read that as you will.
Ball gets kicked and I run home. Remember I had predetermined these actions and they were by no means necessary. I ran as fast as I could and tried to slide from as far out as possible and still make it into the puddle with the ladies.
I made it there alright, but with only one arm intact. Somehow in my exuberance my arm went behind my back and when I slide feet first I landed on my back because the grass was just too slick to have any body control (plus drunk). With all the weight of my body on my arm awkwardly pinned behind me it decided it had enough of being attached to my shoulder socket and ripped out violently.
I knew something was wrong immediately and every muscle in my neck/shoulder/arm went into full blown spasm because they didn't know how to react. They locked up to the point my arm was stuck wherever it ended up.
Everyone was assuming it was a sprain or something else minor till I showed that I could stick my fist into the socket where my arm was missing. It wasn't missing or lost, I knew where it was...below my armpit sticking out above my ribs.
Ambulance was called and it was the most painful wait of my life, followed by the most painful car ride of my life. Just breathing was enough movement to have pain shoot through my body.
Here is me in the back of the ambulanc using my right knee as a support to have my arm rest on.
I completely ruined the sheets on this gurney by the way and the hospital bed. I was covered in mud, you can kind of make out that my lower leg is not white.
I get to the hospital and have the wondeful experience of the doctors needing to follow protocol. Which means even more waiting without any meds. They decide they need to xray it before proceding in case I need surgery because stuff is broken. Fine...except that I had to wait 30 minutes for the xray people. Eventually they see this picture.
Which confirms, yes my arm is not where it should be. And luckily no bones are "really" broken. I did crack the head of my arm into a few pieces but it was "intact."
This is where it gets interesting, I am sure if you have read this far you thought this was already interesting. The doctor says he needs me to relax so he can get my arm back in the socket. I am relaxing about as much as a guy finding out that all of his HS girlfriends had every STD in existence. He cannot budge my arm, so he shoots me up with a double shot of dilaudid, some morphine derivative he told me. He said it was strong and would relax me. It didn't do anything and he still couldn't move my arm. He proceeds to do another double shot of the stuff and now I can feel it. But he still cannot budge my arm.
Now this next part I REALLY wish I had video/pictures of. He had a nurse get a bed sheet. He tied my wrist/hand to one end of the sheet. He wrapped the other end around his waist. He had nurses hold my body on the left side, while he grabbed one of those handicap bars on the wall in the room. The doctor played TUG OF WAR WITH MY ARM! At this point I think every doctor and nurse in the ER were watching, the room was packed and there were people in the hall ways. So while he is pulling with both arms on the railing, 2 nurses holding me around my waist on the left, and another nurse pulling up on my dislocated arm it snaps back into place.
My body felt like I just came 10000 times. After more than 2 hours with my arm not in the socket the reunion was so sweet. So sweet in fact, the mixture of all that booze and morphine stuff wanted in on the party and I puked everywhere immediately.
Fast forward a couple years and I finally had the surgery to repair everything I ****ed up on October 18th, 2011. I am in rehab now and everyday it feels like I have my arm back more and more.
If you really read this all I applaud you and your ability to procrastinate and waste time as much as me.
See you on the track! And don't play kickball, it's dangerous