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Stupid things people say or ask about our bikes.....

326K views 2K replies 456 participants last post by  NefRider 
#1 ·
I was hit with a pretty good one yesterday.

Bystander: Nice bike! What kind is it?
Me: Triumph Street Triple
Bystander: Cool, who makes it?
Me: Uh, lol, Triumph
Bystander: Oh, OK, I thought Triumph just made cars?
Me: I just laugh a little and go about my business.
 
#1,541 ·
People are amazingly stupid. I've seen first hand people gawk over a hypermotard because it had the ducati sticker. They begin with saying how they love ducati but follow with the question, what is that? Or I've never seen this before.

Me and my friends were honestly going to plastic dip our tanks red and get a ducati sticker just to piss off the friend with the hyperretard.
 
#1,545 ·
I had the joy of sitting at the local Triumph/Ducati dealer for about half an hour today. I was astounded by the variety of biker stereotypes that came in while I was there.

Don't get me wrong, there were guys on adventure bikes that actually had mud on them (!), and guys coming in who wore more than tank tops when they rode...but the fun thing was the constant flow of douchebaggery that pervaded the Ducati section of the dealership.

Douchebag #1 (DB1) walks in, asks what the best Ducati is, and immediately walks out upon gawking a the price tag a second.

DB#2 walks in and explains how he wants a "kickass ride to class and to his bro's flat." He lives on campus at UT Chattanooga, in which case I'd say any vehicle at all is not necessary as the campus is VERY small. He makes some snarly faces at the salesman who suggests that he probably doesn't want a Panigale for 10 mph put-putting around campus, because he says, "Well, I'm the only one who knows what I need and what I like," and promptly decides he likes the Monster 1200 because, "that exhaust looks like a snake." The salesman asks for a copy of his license so he can test ride it...and immediately hands it back because there's no class M endorsement. DB#2 walks out snarling under his breath.

DB#3 walks in wearing an untucked, unironed white collared shirt, unbuttoned at the top button and tie hanging loosely......and SHORTS. Baggy blue shorts. Not dress shorts--but that plaid stuff the kids wear nowadays. Doesn't take his sunglasses off despite the poor lighting. DB#3 sits on a Monster 821, cranks the thing (holy shit, he knows how!), then promptly revs it really quickly to redline to the ear-shattering dismay of everyone in that cramped corner of the store. When the salesman tells him to get the hell out, he's shaking.

DB#4 walks in and wants to look around a while. He then buys a Ducati t-shirt. DB#4 tells the salesman he misses his Ducati. Salesman asks what he used to ride. He says, "Oh, it was one of their sportbikes."

DB#5 has the tattoos all over, yellow hair, tank top, tackle-box worth of piercings on the face, looks like Fred Durst turned up to 11, and conveniently has a guy that looks just like him except about 100 lbs heavier that follows him around--I guess that guy could only be described as "his boy," because when the salesman that I guess drew the last straw and had to go talk to him went to see what he was looking for, he replied, "I was just looking around for a new vehicle and my boy here suggested I look around at some bikes too." Despite telling the salesman in his next sentence that he didn't know much about bikes, he apparently forgot that fact in his next statement of wisdom, which was, when the salesman pointed to me and said, "That gentleman bought a Street Triple R and loves it. That 675 triple is one of the sweetest engines out there right now," DB#5 replied with, "Oh, no, Triumphs suck."

I hope to hell the dealerships get paid well--if all these *******s came in half an hour, it must be a steady trickle of idiocy all day in there.
 
#1,548 ·
Yep, he started one up, unattended.

Pandora gets a lot of interesting traffic. That's my first time spending an extended time in there except for the actual purchase of my bike. I haven't seen that much entertainment from a bike shop ever--though there are some rather strange folks that go into Southern Honda Powersports.
 
#1,549 ·
Dealer is an idiot to have the key in there
 
#1,552 ·
Please forgive any contradiction, but anytime I've sat on a bike there, I can remember flicking the key to the "on" position to see the dash, etc. Even an 848 Evo one time, while I was sitting on one, the salesman just verified the neutral light was on and thumbed the starter.

An overwhelming majority of the bikes there seem to have keys. I can't imagine them cycling through the inventory that quickly, though.
 
#1,553 ·
I must be wrong. So you're the reason all the bikes get dead batteries.

I'm leading this thread off topic but.. A few years ago a friend of a friend was at what used to be the Aprilia dealership in town, and, she has the bright idea to sit on a Dorsoduro without asking. Note: if a bike's seat is above your belt-line, it's not a good idea to swing your leg over it. *As you know, bikes at dealerships are usually parked parallel to one another* She swings her leg over from the left side and confidently pushes the bike up right.. and.. misses the ground by a few inches with the foot on the other side. There was a domino effect. It was bad:trophy:

I even ask before I sit on a bike, thought this respect was logical.
 
#1,555 ·
I concur about sitting on the bikes. I always ask before throwing a leg over one.

I've heard some horror stories about people sitting on, or putting their child on, other people's bikes. Not at dealerships either, but for example, in the Steak n Shake parking lot... No permission or anything.
 
#1,556 ·
I concur about sitting on the bikes. I always ask before throwing a leg over one.

I've heard some horror stories about people sitting on, or putting their child on, other people's bikes. Not at dealerships either, but for example, in the Steak n Shake parking lot... No permission or anything.
I've had someone do that numerous times. I've also had a parent let the girl child urinate right next to my bike which then covered my tires in piss.
 
#1,557 ·
Pull up at the gas station to fill up after a country sprint. Guy in a car leaned back so far I couldn't hardly see him "hey, what kind of bike is that?" Me: "triumph Daytona" Guy: "how many CCs is it?" Me: "675" Guy: "that's cool, well I have a liter bike" Me: "nice, what do you ride" Guy: pause....."a uh Suzuki R1". Me: "cool story bro" (no i dont talk like that it just seemed fitting at the time) Guy: ...talking....me not listening. That inevidebly caused him and his buddy to tailgate me and do fly bys. I didn't feed it but I wanted to blow his super fast altima away. Too bad I'm an adult and have self control lol.
 
#1,558 ·
Alright, this may not qualify as a stupid thing somebody said, but the kids in my neighborhood have finally escalated from their previous annoying hobby of, "Playing basketball in the road and not moving out of the way when cars go past, instead defaulting to a blank stare until someone blows their horn several times," to a new hobby of, "Let's bowl the basketball at the cars that go past." I guess as they're nearing puberty, they're starting to find new ways of being stupid.

Friday night, they hit be square in the back with the basketball when I rode the Striple up the road. Nearly knocked the wind out of me (impressive throw, by the way). I stopped the bike, thought about knocking on some doors and saying some choice words to a parent, but for some dumbass reason, I didn't.

This afternoon, they were back to bowling instead of baseball I guess, and the basketball hit my Civic. It had been a crappy day at work and I was pissed. I got out, pulled out my box cutter, walked to the curb, and deflated the ball.

At this point, I looked up at the basketball players' driveway just in time to see all-makeup'd up soccer mom standing behind her storm door with her jaw dropped--it was at this point I remembered I was so braindead leaving work today that I had left my splash apron on...

It's a running joke among a few people that know me that I had known from like the 8th grade that I would grow up to be a really creepy dude--but this is the first time I went all Despicable Me on a bunch of kids, esp. while wearing something that could pass for a lab coat.
 
#1,561 ·
This wasn't something said about my bike (other than a too slow mention), but I ran into a friend of a friend who has a Duc 1098. He's one of those guys who's the best at everything, according to him. He is a former sniper and I've seen him on a course with handguns and he's a legitimate badass with them, but in talking to him yesterday about riding, I just had to suppress my urge to call him a moron (I mentioned he's really good with guns, yeah?).

He claims his 1098 has 211 HP, I'm skeptical of this claim, but maybe it's possible. He seems to think that unless you're doing over 160 MPH, you're not really riding. The guy is in his 50's so I guess he knows enough not to kill himself, but after he starts talking about how he has his rear suspension set really firm and his front suspension set up soft "because I lean so far forward and put all my weight on the front. It's probably not the best form but it works for me." I just politely say, "oh, really" and steer the subject to other topics as it's clear he has no idea what he's talking about. Didn't get to see him ride as I arrived after him and left before him, but I wish I'd have had a chance to witness his splendor in action. :rolleyes:
 
#1,562 ·
This wasn't something said about my bike (other than a too slow mention), but I ran into a friend of a friend who has a Duc 1098. He's one of those guys who's the best at everything, according to him. He is a former sniper and I've seen him on a course with handguns and he's a legitimate badass with them, but in talking to him yesterday about riding, I just had to suppress my urge to call him a moron (I mentioned he's really good with guns, yeah?).

He claims his 1098 has 211 HP, I'm skeptical of this claim, but maybe it's possible. He seems to think that unless you're doing over 160 MPH, you're not really riding. The guy is in his 50's so I guess he knows enough not to kill himself, but after he starts talking about how he has his rear suspension set really firm and his front suspension set up soft "because I lean so far forward and put all my weight on the front. It's probably not the best form but it works for me." I just politely say, "oh, really" and steer the subject to other topics as it's clear he has no idea what he's talking about. Didn't get to see him ride as I arrived after him and left before him, but I wish I'd have had a chance to witness his splendor in action. :rolleyes:
Should make for epic stoppies......

Sent from Motorcycle.com Free App
 
#1,563 ·
That's actually the correct way to set up suspension. It's so you shift the center of gravity down and forward into the turn, and upon exit, don't overload the rear which can cause a temporary loss and then regaining of traction resulting in a high-side. It could also cause you to veer into the oncoming lane, have you almost stop to correct the line, and have to turn around to see if there is an audience witnessing the slight riding miscalculation. Embarrassing.

We've all seen it happen before... recently, actually. Did your friend's friend take a trip to the Gap a few weeks ago?
 
#1,568 ·
Had to run to work briefly today. Stopped in Dayton TN on the way back to get gas, and realized I was at the gas station that sells the big Swiss Cake Roll. Can't resist, so I went in and got one. On the out, I noticed my bike had drawn a small crowd of...well, I'm not sure what the appropriate term for them is. The guys with tattoos, semi-shaved heads, oversized white t-shirts, pierced ears stretched out to an obnoxious size, and unkept varieties of facial hair. From a distance, they looked like the rapper Haystak at 4 different stages of extreme weight loss.

The skinniest one never spoke without either (1) tugging down at his shirt or (2) raising his elbow up to eye level and jabbing his index finger down at the ground with every other word. He impressed me with his knowledge of, "Triumph. They British, right?"

"Er, yes, they are. Not many people around here seem to know that," I replied.

One of the bigger ones chimed in at that point, "She looks really sweet, man. Is she fast?"

That was more intelligent than I expected to hear out of this group. I replied with, "Faster than I need, but you know--there's a lot faster." I tried to head off any really stupid questions with a, "She's practical enough that I can ride her to work."

One of the larger ones said, "Oh that's cool," with one of the other ones saying, "Ah, it's not all leaned down and shit," as I threw my leg over the saddle. "You don't see 'em like that every day. I like it!"

Finally, the skinny one lowered the perceived IQ of the group, asking, "So why didn't you buy a good Jap bike like everyone else?"
 
#1,571 ·
youre a terrible person, kidding thats hilarious.

i work in movies and tv and often when we are filming on a location people ask us what we are filming, even though every street post, stop sign is marked off with paperwork saying what is there, people ask constantly what we are filming and i always come up with ludicrous titles that should no way be out.
 
#1,570 ·
My 2014 Daytona 675R gets mistaken for Ducatis and BMW S1000s all the time. I actually think mine looks better.

Also, I never really cared about getting rid of the stock fender assembly as much as I did about upgrading performance parts. 3 times within the first month of ownership, people asked me why I don't have a fender eliminator kit (tail tidy). It seemed like people were offended. Now it's the second month and I just installed a nice one. Keep everyone happy.
 
#1,577 ·
Scenario 1:
*At a light, Guy pulls up on a ZX-14R, shitty spray paint job, chromed chicken wire everywhere, no fit or finish on anything aftermarket. He's wearing a wife beater, jean shorts, flip flops, and slitted wayfarers.
DB- "Want to scrap light to light?"
Me- "No, I really don't enjoy riding like a dick on the streets."
DB- *Chuckles* "Probably just couldn't keep up."
Me- *Sarcastically* "Yup, that's exactly it."

*DB tries to "Launch" at light, stalls hard and nearly tips the bike, as I pull away smoothly. Promptly turn at next light, avoiding eye contact, and I hear him run through the gears as he takes off.

Scenario 2:
*Stereotypical morbidly obese, middle aged, Harley rider at a gas station. Looks over, I nod, he scoffs.
DB- "Never liked your kind."
Me- "And what exactly is 'My Kind'?"
DB- "Young hot heads on those japenese toy bikes."
Me- "It's a Triumph... A British bike."
DB- "Makes no difference. Y'all give bikers a bad name. Weaving traffic and wheelieing all over the damn place."
Me- *Turn away and continue pumping gas*

*DB gets back on his bike and does the typical start/rev. Goes to exit the station and as he's waiting to turn does the even more typical throttle blips in neutral.

There was a father and young son at the pump in front of me, and I hear the son ask his dad why fat people ride those kinds of bikes and not the "cool looking ones." The dad replies, "They're too fat to ride the fun ones, and that's also why envy those who have them."

I just about fell off my bike laughing
 
#1,578 ·
DB- "Makes no difference. Y'all give bikers a bad name. Weaving traffic and wheelieing all over the damn place."
That's funny because I see more guys on Harleys weaving through traffic and cutting cars off without signaling than I do sportbikes. Also, yeah, reving a V-twin with open pipes for no reason gives bikers a bad name, and is one of the main reasons I look down on HDs.
 
#1,581 ·
Jackass response indeed. He might be really interested in riding and could use some real advice. Most young people are interested in motorcycles because they are fast.

I had a nice one the other day. Have both the wheels off and it is obviously on its side stand till I get the wheels back on.

Guy stops by my garage and asks me if it is fast, literally first thing he says to me.

My jackass response was. No, it has no wheels on it, so it can't go anywhere.
 
#1,583 ·
It's a naked sports bike. It doesn't look like a typical sports bike or "Crotch Rocket" to non-riders. "Is it fast?" got to be the top question about motorcycles. Even those of us who ride are always looking for faster bikes, hence the whole FZ-09 discussion on this forum and rumor of 800cc triple.

LOL I dont care if he is interested. When your first question is "is it fast" well duh its a ****ing sport bike.

Also what does one consider fast?
 
#1,588 ·
Atop Mobray today at the Mountain General Store, I pulled over to answer a page from work. Almost immediately upon pulling off my helmet, I hear, "Hey f@ggot, how do you like that racin' lawnmower?" from a guy in overalls on a Harley. He was setting a stunning example for his son (or whatever the 3' tall, 3' wide creature was that was riding on the back).

What I find so strange is that, had he not said that, I probably would have said hello / how are ye and never had the least negative thought...
 
#1,589 ·
Atop Mobray today at the Mountain General Store, I pulled over to answer a page from work. Almost immediately upon pulling off my helmet, I hear, "Hey f@ggot, how do you like that racin' lawnmower?" from a guy in overalls on a Harley. He was setting a stunning example for his son (or whatever the 3' tall, 3' wide creature was that was riding on the back).
Where you wearing rainbow leathers with glow sticks wrapped around your helmet? :biggrinjester:
 
#1,592 ·
Kinda craze. I hit the dragon at least once a week and ride all over east tn area.
The cruisers far out weigh us sport bike guys. But out of both groups, I have yet to meet one from either that was a dick.
Now. Some of the cruisers flip you off when you pass on the dotted sections of road.
And some sport bike guys blow by for no reason
But when I stop and talk, everyone has always thought the triumph was nice. Had been very pleasant with small talk. And I have even made a few buddies/ helped some people and have been helped. I'm convinced this is the nicest place geographically and populace wise for bikes
 
#1,593 ·
I concur--this is indeed the nicest region to own a bike. Both in terms of climate and general acceptance. Very few areas that ban motorcycles, too (a few apartment complexes are all I can think of).

Also, generally the attitude I've gotten from other riders is, "If you're on two wheels you're a friend of mine," and I reciprocate that thought for the most part. Granted, I've heard plenty of stupid ("Stretch that swingarm and you'd be looking good on that!") but most of the crap I've endured has come from non-riders.
 
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