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Stupidest thing you've ever DONE on your bike

8K views 37 replies 28 participants last post by  orangecrush 
#1 ·
I doubt this would ever be as popular as the "Stupid things people say or ask about our bikes," thread, however, I'm sure some of you have some great stories that could be at least as entertaining.

A side reason I'm posting this is because seeing some humor in some of my stupid mistakes helps me not dwell on my stupidity and lose confidence.

My stupid thing (not the first, not the last, I'm sure): I thought I would go for a quick ride tonight while the weather was perfect. I chose Roberts Mill Road, a windy road up the side of Signal Mountain here in Chattanooga. A red pickup truck was a good ways behind me before I started up the hill, and nobody was in front of me that I could see.

About a third of the way up, there's a sharp right hand switchback that rises sharply just past the apex.

There was a doe standing on the right side of the road about 20 feet before the turn. I backed off the throttle in case it jumped into the road, but it didn't move. I crept past it cautiously, then entered the turn. For some reason, I thought about Cade's Cove, where people stop in front of you and take pictures of deer that are 300 feet away like they've never seen them before. The thought crossed my mind, "Wouldn't it be my luck somebody's stopped on the uphill side of this blind corner taking pictures of this one?"

As it turns out, it was my luck that a Lexus SUV was stopped on the uphill side of the road just past the blind corner taking pictures of the deer.

Nobody was coming--figured I could go around them. The passenger had her cell phone out the window snapping pictures... The driver's face was turned to the side--they weren't going anywhere yet. I'm in second, and I open the throttle, knowing that the SV could pull from this speed easily in 2nd.

Wait, I'm not on the SV. I hear the engine lug down as I open the throttle. So I quickly downshift and gas it in 1st. But my coordination is so bad at this point that I stall it. The bike starts to roll back slightly, so I feather both brakes and catch it, but the road is banked such that the bike tips to the right.

I thought for sure I was dropping it. The bike goes over...and over... and over. But at full bend of my knee (and feeling my hamstrings or whatever those split-hurting muscles stretching way past their comfort zone), I catch it. The bike looks to be about to touch the road with its turn signals, but lift, lift LIFT LIIIIIIFFFFTTTTT! and it's back upright.

At this point, I look forward, just in time to see the the passenger in the SUV is now taking pictures of ME instead of the deer.

I crank the bike, do the most un-smooth take-off in the world, revving like a deuchebag squid as I take off and fly around the SUV in the double yellow, humming "Entrance of the Gladiators" (my favorite 'looking stupid' song) to try and maintain some sort of dignity as I fly past them.

I'm pretty sure pictures of my Striple, nearly touching the ground, are going to be on either Facebook or Failblog later this week...
 
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#3 ·
I got a stupid one .. Went to change my front pads the other day . While changing I realized I ordered the wrong pads so in frustration I just slipped the old ones back on . I'm riding my bike and apply the brakes and the brakes feel funny . I slow down and I hear scraping .. My stupid ass threw on of my pads on backwards . I'm lucky I don't need a new rotor . That's pretty stupid .
 
#4 ·
Anything's a dual sport if you're dumb enough. This was about 20 miles each way of gravel, going up to about 7300 ft in elevation. Highest road in the state.




From the top looking back down at the road. You can barely make out a black dot in the "parking lot" which is the bike next to the car. Also note the snow. It was in late July last year.

 
#5 ·
I've done some snow riding on summer tires. Made it home safe, but not something I would do today.

When my first bike was new I stopped in some deep gravel, put the stand down and walked away. About 20 steps from my bike I heard that sound nobody wants to hear. Ahh, the newb was strong in me :) Serves me right for getting a new bike as my first. It was an EX500 so it started out ugly anyhow... So I told myself.

Sent from Motorcycle.com Free App
 
#6 ·
Ha, almost exactly my situation. First bike was a new EX500 as well and first time I rode it (second time ever on a motorcycle) around a parking lot I found that the turning radius wasn't what I assumed it would be and I went off the pavement of the lot and into some soft dirt where I promptly dropped it at a near stop.
 
#8 ·
Years ago on the CB700SC, I went ridding with my buddies, six bikes total. There is a beautiful long and straight road with no driveways or any other access for about 2 miles. Everything was off the fields, so vision in every direction was perfect. It was like we were the only people on earth. We were at the start (stop sign) nothing in front, nothing to the sides...BOOM the first group of 3 was GONE!!...the rest of us waited...waited...BOOM...what a rush!!..Hit 120 mph and backed it down. Got to the end we were laughing and saying how cool that was and what a blast this road is. Then I hear this little voice..." I was kindda scared". Now, I have taken my son on rides before, but not normally with everybody at the same time, this was just one of those times we all had the time, at the same time. He always did GREAT on the bike with me, leaned with me and everything...not bad for a 9 year old. I had COMPLETELY forgotten he was back there. Reminds me of that commercial... "Don't tell mom". That really freaked me out, and pretty much stopped taking anybody with me since.
 
#9 ·
Here's a new stupid one: parked at the dollar store in Rockwood. I'm about 99% sure the bike was in a different spot and facing a different direction when I got back out.

Also, I made the mistake of riding from Rockwood to Chattanooga (a good 1 hour 45 minutes) while mildly having the urge to use the restroom before I left... A dude passed me just to slam to a stop and make a turn less than 10 seconds later and I nearly wet my seat.
 
#10 ·
I stopped in a long line of traffic.


In front of an old lady who didn't. Resulting in a damaged bike, written off helmet and gloves, me being knocked out for 5 mins, concussion, and no bike for 3 months whilst the insurance company mucks around fixing it.. Awesome....:frown2:
 
#11 ·
Replaced the levers on my bike,and of course with new levers there's bound to be slight adjustments needed.

Install goes smooth,squeeze the levers and they feel fine.

OK,let's test them out.

Go grab my gear for a proper test ride,and as for my usual ritual I go to start the bike while I gear up.Nothing...try again ...nothing.
Must be the clutch,not adjusted,and not engaging the switch.So I adjust the cable a bit...still nothing.
Adjust...still nothing.
Now I'm sitting on the bike,it's not the killswitch.Im so disgusted I drop my head in anguish,and immediately start laughing out loud.
I was in first gear cause I wanted to test the pull on the clutch but I had the side stand down.
 
#12 ·
I've got two:

1) Going out for a ride on my Daytona early on a Saturday morning. Walking the bike out of the garage to start it up and let it warm while I'm putting on helmet, gloves, etc... Start walking it out, don't bother putting the side stand up because I'm going to put it back down in six feet anyway (everyone knows where this is going now), sidestand hits a bump in the driveway, bike starts tipping to the right (opposite side that I'm on), I have no leverage and give up, just trying to hold onto the bars on my side and try to slow the fall as much as possible. Bike falls, and I show up to the meetup spot having to explain why my bike now only has one mirror.

2) Getting ready for a trackday in Chuckwalla. Bring the trackbike ('01 GSX-R600) over to my buddy's house who is trailering out ten bikes with his motor home. Get to his front door and lean the bike up against the wall by the door since it has no sidestand and my pitbull stand is still at my house. Go inside the house to chat with my buddy. Middle of the conversation we hear CRASH!! Yup, go out and the bike is on the ground because it tipped over. Rode that trackday with half of a left side footpeg missing.
 
#15 ·
I've got two:

1) Going out for a ride on my Daytona early on a Saturday morning. Walking the bike out of the garage to start it up and let it warm while I'm putting on helmet, gloves, etc... Start walking it out, don't bother putting the side stand up because I'm going to put it back down in six feet anyway (everyone knows where this is going now), sidestand hits a bump in the driveway, bike starts tipping to the right (opposite side that I'm on), I have no leverage and give up, just trying to hold onto the bars on my side and try to slow the fall as much as possible. Bike falls, and I show up to the meetup spot having to explain why my bike now only has one mirror.
I did this with my last bike. Was moving the bike up onto a small curb to get it out of the rain. Kickstand caught on said curb and jerked it out of my hands and over to the right side of the bike. I was soooo mad at myself. Now anytime I move the bike any distance unless it's just in my garage, I put the kickstand up. #NeverForget
 
#13 ·
Recently switched to GP shift and take it out for a ride. A couple miles in, I get to a big boulevard road and jump on it to accelerate into traffic. I was being a little lazy and also casually forgot about the pattern reversal when going to change to cruising revs and instead end up in 1st, slipping the clutch and rear wheel to keep the revs under 12k for a few seconds while I reminded my brain what the shift pattern was again. Made a lot of noise and probably confused some of the people around me and had them thinking I was an asshat doing that intentionally.
 
#14 ·
I normally turn the key off and roll quietly into a stop. I decided to put the kickstand down while I was still rolling cause in my head I'll just plop the bike down once I completely stop and hop off.... Kick stand caught the pavement and I almost crashed.

Another time I started the bike and our on my gear. Instead of riding it off the curb I decided to roll it down since it was a right spot in between cars. Didn't bother putting kickstand up. The curb caught the kickstand and almost threw the bike over to the right as I was on the left.

I've also ridden it off a curb in between cars which was clearly to tight to turn into. Only way through was going perfectly perpendicular to curb. Like an idiot I didn't and had half the bike on pavement and the back end up on the sidewalk. I can't flat foot my bike and had to stay on one foot tiptoe ass cheek off and somehow rocked the bike back and forth till I got back onto the curb.
 
#17 ·
On my way home heading up my dirt road moving about 15-20mph I see a flock (gaggle?) of wild turkeys crossing about 50' ahead of me, in my brilliance I think - "this'll be fun, I'll gas it and scare the crap out of them and watch them scatter". Sure enough, they freaked out and scattered in all directions including one right to my face shield! Knocked my head back as far as it would go. Brilliance alright!
 
#18 ·
Anyone ever tried to push your bike up a ramp? Such as into the back of a truck or a U-haul? A few years ago I had to move a non-functioning Ninja 250 from my apartment to my new house, and the only way I could do it without help was via a moving truck with the slide-out ramp.

I had the bright idea that I could push it up the ramp as far as I could, then grab some front brake, and then push it incrementally up more and more. My running start took it further up than I anticipated, but I slipped off the ramp to the right side...the bike went rolling back and I jumped toward it and tried to grab the brake lever, and succeeded...stopping the bike in its tracks before it went off the end of the ramp. Because I was still falling as this was happening, the bike rolled over on top of me.

By this time, all the stuck up old guys at the apartment complex were watching (and of course, not asking if I needed help).
 
#23 ·
ugh.....well, passing three cars at one time on a narrow road was the stupidest. car number two nearly put me in a ditch when the driver started to pass as well. we were three abreast going down the road. i could have held onto his driver side mirror. i gunned it past both and pulled ahead. not gonna lie i thought i was done.
 
#26 ·
Well, I typically just stand about two feet away from the back of the truck with the bike between me and the truck. I lean forward, fully nude, against the truck.

I then look up some porn on the smart phone and when I look back down, the bike has elevated to the level of the truck bed.
 
#28 ·
Stupidest thing done on my bike, well lets go back 50+ years. Bloody "S" bends where my enemy, first time was going in too deep before hauling out on the second bend on my T120. I ran wide, knew I was not making it so ran straight through the road side hedges into a farmers field, ran the length of the field right into the farmers back yard.Waved and shot out his driveway onto the road meeting the lads racing along the road.
Now the second "S" bend (not in the same day) incident was at night, racing along with my girlfriend on the back (showing off) got around the first, as usual, low sided coming out the second bend. Well we both hit the road edge and flipped into the ditch running along the road, no problem, climbed out of the ditch and started looking for the bike. Well, you think we could find it, no way, we walked up an down that dammed road, not a thing.
Okay, let me give you a picture of the area, a ditch 4 feet wide and 3 feet deep with an hedge 8 feet tall on the other side. Right you got it, the bloody bike hit the berm at the road edge, jumped the ditch AND crashed through the hedge into the field on tother side. Gotta love farmers in England, pushed it along and out the farmers yard again.
Still fast and stupid @67 yrs old but I learned to respect "S"bends. Well tyres are so much better than 50yrs ago.Thanks for looking at my stupidest thing on a bike.
 
#32 ·
"Boom... Nailed a raccoon!!! " hahahahahahahahahahha
glad you are alright. I was going about 80 interstate and about 300 yards ahead of me this damn skippy groundhog made a b line to the fast lane.
I just tensed up. If I went left it would run right back under me wheel. If I went right it would turn around and run right over me wheel. I just held the line and laughed in the face of death.
We both lived

Now. That's not the stupidst or luckiest, just a story from my life
 
#36 ·
I met a guy who takes his Scrambler trail riding all the time. Says it's no enduro, but does alright as long as it's not super muddy. He flew from Alaska to N Carolina to buy it, then rode it all the way back to Alaska. Dude was a newb when he started his trip. Seasoned vet by the time he pulled into town. That's an Army guy for you.
 
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